UnMarioWiki:Other Stuff/Mario's Adventure 11/Game

The RP begins with Marc122 playing Five Nights at Freddy's 2.

MARC122: Aww man, I'm so close to losing!

Cut to the office of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza around 4:56 AM with the security guard (Jeremy Fitzgerald) shivering in fear.

JEREMY FITZGERALD: Oh man... It's almost 5 AM and I'm almost out of flashlight battery power...

Suddenly, the doorbell rings.

OOBOOGLUNK: Hang on, I'll get it. Let me know what happens.

Meanwhile, at the front door...

MAILMAN: Mail delivery, for uhh... Mr. Marc and Oobooglunk.

OOBOOGLUNK: Yeah, I'm Oobooglunk. Where do I sign?

MAILMAN: ...It's an envelope. You only need to sign if it's a package.

OOBOOGLUNK: Ooh, "Handle With Care"! Let's see what it is!

Oobooglunk grabs the envelope out of the mailman's hand and rips it open. Inside are two tickets and a note.

OOBOOGLUNK: Hmm..."Dear Marc122 and Oobooglunk, you've been selected to attend an exclusive premiere of "GamerGate: Untold: ReBooted: The Return: Next Generation: Electric Boogaloo". Sweet! (Yelling down the hall) Hey, MARC! Check it! We got free tickets to a thing!

Oobooglunk half-runs, half-stumbles down the hall and throws the tickets at Marc122. Marc122 grabs the tickets.

MARC122: Finally. Now lemme finish a night on that game first.

Back in Five Nights at Freddy's 2, Toy Bonnie, an animatronic, has come from the vents into the office, much to Jeremy's horror.

JEREMY: AAAH! Get away from me!

Jeremy whipped out his hollow Freddy Fazbear head and donned it, only for Toy Bonnie to take it off.

TOY BONNIE: (Creepy robotic voice) I know you're not Freddy... Mr. Murder Guy.

Toy Bonnie pounced towards Jeremy as the human screamed in terror. Cut back to Marc122 seeing the fake static on the phone.

MARC122: Alright. We're going.

OOBOOGLUNK: Wooooo!

Oobooglunk runs outside as Marc122's phone shows some more static for a split second, then shuts off. Marc122 follows Oobooglunk then.

MARC122: This is gonna be good!

Cut to Marc122 and Oobooglunk driving their car.

MARC122: I heard it's directed by James Cameron. What do you think?

OOBOOGLUNK: Dude, I looooved his work in Avatar. I tell you what, that guy has a vision that refuses to quit!

Suddenly, a taxi drives up to the curb.

OOBOOGLUNK: Oh, good! The cab's here!

MARC122: Yes!

Their car parks near the taxi as Marc122 and Oobooglunk make their transition from the car into the cab.

MARC122: Oh yeah, and it's anticipated to win 17 Oscars, and over a hundred positive accolades. Am I right?

OOBOOGLUNK: (Smirking) Well, that's 17 more than Leonardo DiCaprio! High five!

Oobooglunk sends out a smattering high-five to nobody in particular, accidentally smacking the cab driver across the head. The cab spins into an intersection and onto a car hauler.

OOBOOGLUNK: I don't know whether to say "oops" or "that was awesome". (Pausing) Why not both? That was oopsome!

Oobooglunk grins, then lowers his head and busies himself with something on the window. Marc122 giggles.

MARC122: I agree. At least it got us closer into the theater.

OOBOOGLUNK: Oh, yeah! You're right!

The car hauler stops at the curb in front of the movie theater as the cab rolls out. Oobooglunk kicks his door open and runs into the theater.

OOBOOGLUNK: Come on! Only two minutes to spare and I still want to get popcorn!

MARC122: I'll have the popcorn covered!

Marc122 follows Oobooglunk, but he stops at the popcorn stand. Miraculosly, there is nobody there except for the popcorn vendor.

POPCORN VENDOR: Hello, wa--

MARC122: Shut up and take my money!

Marc122 whips out his $10 bill from his wallet and gives it to the vendor. She then grabs a large popcorn basket and scooped piles of popcorn in it. She then gives it to Marc122.

POPCORN VENDOR: Thank you. Bye!

Marc122 continues following Oobooglunk.

OOBOOGLUNK: Sweet! Come on, the movie's about to start!

Oobooglunk runs into the movie theater, his eyes snapping to a pair of name-tags that read "Oobooglunk" and "Marc122". The two nametags are in the box office.

OOBOOGLUNK: Cool. (Over his shoulder) Marc, check it! We get box office seats!

Marc122 and Oobooglunk sit in their seats with their names on them. Cut to blank with the words "Directed by James Cameron" fading in for a few seconds and then fading out. Production company (Universial Studios and Lightstorm Entertainment) logos begin to play one-by-one before instantaneously cutting inside an abandoned slaughterhouse with the hung bodies of Vivian James, the major pro-GGers, gamers and /v/ through a thunder flash and sound. Heavy rain is heard, but muffled, as somber music plays. Vivian's voice is heard giving a narration.

VIVIAN JAMES: (Narrating) This... This is what the SJWs have pictured for their major win of the GamerGate war.

As she narrates, Max Temkin crashes through a wall with Patricia Hernandez barreling into him, wearing a pair of brass knuckles made from Nokia phones.

PATRICIA HERNANDEZ: This is the last perverted breath you'll take, Temkin! I'll see you burn in Hell!

MAX TEMKIN: (Raspy) Be that...as it may...words...still aren't...

Max Temkin collapses, dead.

VIVIAN JAMES: That's what we've always feared.

Zoe Quinn, with her tiara made from iPod Nanos, arrives in the tarnished structure, noticing the dead body collapse.

ZOE QUINN: Yo Patty, did you kill him?

PATRICIA HERNANDEZ: I did it. We're finally purging the world, one menace at a time.

ZOE QUINN: Sweet. Can't wait to write about this on GameJournosPro.

OOBOOGLUNK: (Whispering) Hey, I read about that! It's how all the anti-GGs communicate with one another.

Back on the screen, Zoe Quinn pulls off the bracelet on her left hand, which turns out to be an iPhone 6 wrapped around her wrist. She pulls up the GameJournosPro App and sends a group message.

VIVIAN JAMES: However... That, ladies and gentlemen...is not canon. Gaming can still be saved. We could still save gaming altogether. And we did. Here...is how GamerGate went down.

The moment Zoe Quinn is silently backstabbed by TotalBiscuit, who was playing dead, letting out her painful scream, it cut to black, and a few seconds later, a bunch of pro-GGs with futuristic weapons wait for the /v/ guy (simply called V) to appear onscreen.

V: This cannot continue.

V leaps onto the pile of dead bodies and brandishes a Darksaber. The pro-GGs clap as V bows.

V: I have a plan. There was once a powerful noble...a lord...an aristocrat. He despised all things related to this triple-twisted concept of "social justice" and was unafraid to speak his mind...until he fled the country, fearing for his life. My sources indicate he went to France (or some other French-speaking country), but I can't be sure.

TOTALBISCUIT: So who is 'e, anyhow? What's his name?

V: His name? (Pausing dramatically) InternetAristocrat.

TOTALBISCUIT: I knew it. So, what plan will it be about, eh?

V: We're splitting up. One third of you will go to France, another to Switzerland, and the last to Quebec. I'll provide transportation.

TOTALBISCUIT: Alright. That works. But wait; what if the SJWs and the anti-GG discover we're trying to look for IA?

V: Well, then, we can't let that happen. Now, while you were talking, I hacked several radio control towers within a 50-mile radius. Three self-guided helicopters are on the way to pick you up and take you where you need to go.

TOTALBISCUIT: Good. We'll be on our way to whatever three locations ya pinpointed for us.

A black helicopter silently touches down behind V, squelching some of the corpses.

V: Good. The first helicopter has arrived. TotalBiscuit, you'll be leading the charge in this 'copter here. Milo Yiannopoulos, you'll be in charge of the second one. Christina Sommers, you'll be in charge of the third.

MILO YIANNOPOULOS: So I'm basically another team captain now? I'll bite. Where are we going?

V: You'll find out in due time.

TOTALBISCUIT: Alright. I'm pilotin' this chopper.

TotalBiscuit walks up to the helicopter.

V: It's self-guided, as I mentioned before. You just need to corral these fine folks so they don't trample each other in there. (To a group of pro-GGs) Get in there, fellas!

A dozen men, teenagers, and several women pile into the helicopter.

V: Enjoy.

CHRISTINA SOMMERS: (Sighing) Oh, boy...

TotalBiscuit's helicopter rotors started to rotate, raising the helicopter into the air as it pinpoints itself in the direction of France.

V: The second one should be coming any minute now.

As if one cue, another helicopter touches down, this time with more noise and wind.

MILO YIANNOPOULOS: Come on, peeps. Let's get movin'.

Another crowd bursts into the helicopter, with Milo Yiannopoulos climbing in behind them. This helicopter orients itself toward Switzerland.

V: And the last one should be here by now.

The final helicopter does not show up.

V: Uhh, hello? Any helicopter production issues--

The third helicopter crashes right behind V.

V: ...L-lately?

Suddenly, a portly figure jumps out of the helicopter wreckage. It turns out to be JonTron, proudly thrusting his belly out for all to see.

JONTRON: ECH!

The crowd claps and cheers.

JONTRON: HACH!!!

The crowd goes wild.

JONTRON: HEUGH!!!

The crowd goes completely silent as everybody prostrates themselves before JonTron except for V.

JONTRON: Sorry, guys. I actually just had something in my throat. Now...(Turning to V) You were staging a rebellion against social justice retards without me?!

V: Hello, JonTron. It's good to see you in person.

JONTRON: Oh, uh... Sorry about that. I take that back.

V: You really have changed after all these years. I tell you, so many people from the old days have gone soft! Stephen Colbert has surrendered to the dark side. Can you imagine?

V sheathes his Darksaber.

V: So, tell me, can you get these fine people to Quebec?

JONTRON: Can I? More like...can't I...never mind. Ech. (Whistles) JACQUES! Warp these people to Canada.

Jacques, JonTron's quasi-robotic parrot, lands on his shoulder.

JONTRON: We're goin' in!

Jacques shoots a teleporting beam at the crowd, instantly warping it to Canada. JonTron, however, is left behind.

JONTRON: Oops... Jacques! You forgot me!

V: Jon...I was hoping we could avoid this...

V slowly reaches up to remove his mask.

JONTRON: Wait, what?

V: I never wanted to be found.

V takes off his mask, revealing the face of InternetAristocrat underneath.

JONTRON: You... TRICKED US!

Jontron pounces towards InternetAristocrat.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: You're one to talk, you self-centered idiot!

InternetAristocrat brandishes his Darksaber and knocks JonTron to the ground with its hilt.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: I should kill you right here. I've seen your vines and your tweets, Jon. You don't really care about this movement at all. You were trying to infiltrate our ranks!

JONTRON: Actually, I don't know much about this movement, but I do know that it sounds dangerous.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: You know nothing!

InternetAristocrat swings at JonTron with his Darksaber as JonTron brandishes a blue Lightsaber.

JONTRON: Oh, that is IT!

JonTron aggressively attacks InternetAristocrat using his lightsaber. Sparks fly as InternetAristocrat deflects every blow.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: You claim to be neutral, earning my respect--which is a feat in itself, mind you--and then you shoot yourself in the foot by showing up here!

JONTRON: You used me! You used Jacques!

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: I had to. I'm done with this crowd, with this chaos. My very presence here is causing more havoc than ever before. Now, if you choose to turn your back on this whole mess now, I may spare your life.

JONTRON: You really sure you want me to piss off many pro-GGs?!

InternetAristocrat swipes at JonTron's feet with his Darksaber, causing him to stumble.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: Choose. Neutrality or death? It should be simple. Go on.

JONTRON: Death...for you, Mr. Betray-head.

As InternetAristocrat prepares to attack, JonTron is quick enough to escape his Darksaber swing.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: Fine. If you were going to be a chicken-$#@!, you should have followed through with it. Then, at least, your bird might almost suit you!

JONTRON: HEY! You can hurt me or insult me all you want, but leave Jacques out of this!

InternetAristocrat laughs and takes another swipe at JonTron, who parries it and knocks the Darksaber out of his hand. JonTron quickly shakes his head.

JONTRON: No. Don't you dare. Don't try this.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: (Whistles) Thunderf00t! Come! (Lowering his voice) You're not the only one with an animal minion. Get ready to have your mind blown and your jugular bitten.

A streak of brown fur passes JonTron before he realizes that it's a tiny yet strong rabbit.

JONTRON: (Sobbing) Please go away...

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: Kill him.

The rabbit pounces on JonTron's hat and tries to go through it when Jacques teleports back onto JonTron's shoulder.

JACQUES: Jon, I finally lost them. Also, why is that rabbit trying to eat you?

JONTRON: Ech! Jacques, get him off me!

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: Do it again, Thunderf00t.

The rabbit bites a chunk out of JonTron's hat and takes some hair with it. Just then, Jacques swoops upward and pulls the rabbit off with his claws.

JONTRON: Take that!

InternetAristocrat grabs his Darksaber off the ground as the rabbit suddenly transforms into the human form of Thunderf00t.

THUNDERF00T: Dammit, Jim! You told me there wouldn't be any interference!

JONTRON: HA! I was lying the whole time!

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: He's a traitor. Kill him.

THUNDERF00T: Now you'll really see why I'm called Thunderf00t!

Thunderf00t takes out a Lightning Shroom and eats it, using it to summon a lightning bolt out of the sky. It hits Jacques.

JONTRON: Jacques! No!

JonTron is knocked unconscious by Thunderf00t. Just then, Anita Sarkeesian arrives.

ANITA SARKEESIAN: Hey! Don't harass me with your presence!

THUNDERF00T: Sarkeesian.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: What a joke. Shouldn't you be at the door someplace?

ANITA SARKEESIAN: The door?

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: That's right. (Spitting each syllable) At the door, checking your little privilege.

InternetAristocrat tries to run Anita Sarkeesian through with his Darksaber, but she stands strong as a clang emanates from her chest.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: Armor?

Anita Sarkeesian's jacket and shirt are burned in the center, revealing a shiny, white breastplate.

ANITA SARKEESIAN: That's right. A gift from one of my White Knights. Stare a little longer, why don't you?

THUNDERF00T: That does it.

Thunderf00t transforms into a rabbit and leaps at Anita Sarkeesian's face. However, Anita is flexible enough to dodge the strong rabbit's pounce. He crashes face-first into the ground, transforming back into a human.

THUNDERF00T: (Muffled) Crap.

Anita sharply turns at Thunderf00t.

ANITA SARKEESIAN: HA! #@(<ing nerd!

Suddenly, JonTron comes to.

JONTRON: Wh...what did you just say to him?

Anita points at JonTron.

ANITA SARKEESIAN: (Coldly) Shut. Up.

JONTRON: (Rising) Explain yourself.

ANITA SARKEESIAN: $@!&%, I'm gonna shove you into a woodchipper.

Anita punches JonTron, giving him a black eye.

JONTRON: ECH! If Jacques were still alive he wouldn't be nearly as merciful as I am!

Suddenly, Jacques' body sparks. His wings flutter as he steadies himself.

JACQUES: Power surge...detected. Systems back online in 3...2...1...

Jacques' eyes turn red as Anita Sarkeesian turns to look at him, her own eyes darkening. Anita Sarkeesian gives out her slow, meancing laugh as she grabs the now destroyed metal bird and throws it at JonTron's neck. Jacques short-circuits with a squeak as JonTron collapses.

THUNDERF00T: No...

ANITA SARKEESIAN: You two! Come fight me, will ya?!

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: I won't. I've had it up to here with these pointless fights, this dull, unintellectual carnage! This isn't going anywhere!

THUNDERF00T: Jim, if you don't kill her, she'll kill you first!

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: ...Fine.

InternetAristocrat raises his red Darksaber into the air, while Anita Sarkeesian swpies JonTron's blue one off the ground. ThunderF00t eats another Lightning Shroom and transforms into a rabbit at the same time.

ANITA SARKESSIAN: You underestimate me.

Anita Sarkeesian twirls the lightsaber in her right hand, then her left. As InternetAristocrat lunges at her with a flurry of swings and sparks, she parries every one of his blows and momentarily stuns him. Meanwhile, ThunderF00t charges at her from the side. Before he can strike, Anita jumps offscreen.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: H--hey! Get back here!

Thunderf00t races after her, fast as lightning.

ANITA SARKEESIAN: Can't kill me, eh?!

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: Hit her good, Thunderf00t! (To himself) He's super-charged with lightning, and she's wearing metal armor. This should be a piece of cake.

Thunderf00t slams into Anita Sarkeesian, electrifying her. He then transforms back into a human and collapses, clutching his heart. Anita Sarkeesian lets out a scream.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: My God, he did it! He actually did it!

Both Thunderf00t and Anita Sarkeesian lie motionless. Suddenly, Christina Sommers descends on a jetpack marked with a red maple leaf.

CHRISTINA SOMMERS: You traitor. I've found out everything.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: (Coldly) You.

CHRISTINA SOMMERS: Me. I knew your movement had a shred of reason behind it, but I never knew you were as vehemently against feminism as you are!

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: Can you blame me?! Look around you. This carnage was caused by feminists.

CHRISTINA SOMMERS: Not simply feminists--misguided souls. A movement cannot be judged by its members.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: Empty words.

Christina Sommers facepalms.

CHRISTINA SOMMERS: You don't understand what I'm saying, do you?

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: All I know is that the world is messed up beyond recognition, and you've sided with its oppressors.

InternetAristocrat lunges at Christina Sommers with his Darksaber.

CHRISTINA SOMMERS: STOP!

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: (Smirking) Hammertime.

InternetAristocrat swings his Darksaber downward like a sledgehammer. In the background, JonTron starts twitching. Christina gets hit by InternetAristocrat's lightsaber.

CHRISTINA SOMMERS: Ow! What do you think you're doing?

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: Seeing you as you really are: a feminist, one with the enemy.

As InternetAristocrat swings at Christina again, she ducks out of the way, but her jetpack is hit. It starts to spark violently.

CHRISTINA SOMMERS: (Worried) Oh God, don't explode on me...

Christina wriggles out from underneath the jetpack as it spits sparks in InternetAristocrat's face. He shields his eyes, dropping his Darksaber.

CHRISTINA SOMMERS: Ha! How do you like that?!

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: I've had enough of you!

The jetpack explodes in InternetAristocrat's face. Just then, Christina bursts into laughter.

CHRISTINA SOMMERS: (Laughing) Oh...I'm sorry. That's just too much.

InternetAristocrat throws down his Darksaber and lies down on the ground, facing upward.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: I need to re-evaluate my life.

JONTRON: InternetAristocrat...Is that you?

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: I give up. I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

JONTRON: Me neither... Wait, where's the pro-GG army?

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: I sent them to Canada, France, and Switzerland.

JONTRON: (Sigh) Are they in danger? I hope not.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: Why do you care? I thought you were against our movement.

JONTRON: I'm impartial. I just don't want people to get hurt. We've been over this.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: Fine. But I doubt anything bad happened to them. I mean, Christina Sommers returned alive and well--with a jetpack!

JONTRON: Alright. I do apologize for snapping for a short time.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: No problem. Friends?

JONTRON: Friends.

CHRISTINA SOMMERS: Aw, that's so sweet. It's so nice to see you two set your arguments aside.

JONTRON: Huh?

CHRISTINA SOMMERS: Well, you had opposing views on the subject of GamerGate, didn't you?

JONTRON: I...didn't have an opinion. I just didn't want to see any people get hurt.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: (Mumbling) You keep saying that, yet you came all the way here...

CHRISTINA SOMMERS: And that was very noble of you, JonTron. Now, InternetAristocrat, why are you so vehemently opposed to the feminist movement?

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: The so-called "movement" has been twisted into a bawling $#@!-fest. People burn books, harass and slander men, et cetera.

CHRISTINA SOMMERS: Yes. They burned my book, to be precise, about the way boys in America are falling behind girls in education. However, one cannot judge an entire movement by a certain part of it.

JONTRON: Christina, I feel very sad about the loss of your book to those SJWs.

CHRISTINA SOMMERS: Don't worry about it. Besides, I'm technically a social justice warrior, myself.

InternetAristocrat falls to his knees, mumbling something about his political beliefs, while Jontron facepalms.

JONTRON: Darn.

CHRISTINA SOMMERS: What do you mean?

Cut to Oobooglunk and Marct122 watching the movie again.

MARC122: (Whispering) Here we go...

OOBOOGLUNK: (Whispering) Wait, what is he doing?!

Back on the screen...

JONTRON: I was hoping to avoid...that.

Jontron points behind him as InternetAristocrat grabs the lightsaber and Darksaber, charging at JonTron and Christina Sommers.

In the theater...

OOBOOGLUNK: Oh! Totally called it.

Back on the screen...

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: RRRRRAAAAAHHHHHH!!

JONTRON: RUN!

JonTron runs for his life while Christina does the same.

INTERNETARISTOCRAT: Your kind has ruined this world! I won't let you live in it any longer!

InternetAristocrat jumps into the air, above JonTron and Christina, pointing his blades down at them.

JONTRON: Oh shooooot!

Suddenly, InternetAristocrat lands in front of JonTron and Christina as the sabers bounce off the ground and slice straight through his legs.

CHRISTINA: YEOW!

JONTRON: That looked like it hurt!

InternetAristocrat collapses, draging himself toward JonTron and Christina by stabbing each of his sabers into the ground and inching his body forward.