The Quest for The Black House

Characters

 * Bowser
 * Mario
 * Wawabowser
 * Mystery Character
 * Barack Obama
 * Men in the Suits: George W. Bush, Hillary Clinton, Squadala Man, The King, That Sony Guy, Shigeru Miyamoto

Scene 1
Mario and Wawabowser are at Mario's Pad, conversing with a mysterious individual offscreen.

WAWABOWSER: Well, what's your plan?

???: I plan to acquire more minions. Luigi has gone missing, and you were clearly not enough to defeat Bowser.

WAWABOWSER: But...but he cheated! He used explosives!

???: Silence. I have planned for backup assistance. My new minion is waiting for me somewhere. Hang on, I'll try to contact him.

Some static is heard, then a bleep, like the sound of a walkie-talkie turning on.

???: Come in, Agent Green. This is Agent Red. Do you read me? Over.

Some more static is heard, along with the words "Captured" and "Black House".

???: Drat. He must have run into some trouble. All right, gentlemen. You have your mission. You must reach the Black House as fast as you can, then await my orders.

MARIO: But...aren't you coming with us?

???: I have some...unfinished business to take care of. I will join you shortly.

MARIO: But how will we get there?

???: Use Cario.

A red car with eyes for headlights drives in front of the doorway as its doors open. Mario and Wawabowser hop into the car and it drives off.

Scene 2
Cut to the Black House, where Barack Obama is talking with his assistants, the Men in the Suits.

BARACK OBAMA: All right, listen up. As we all know, we have an intruder on the premises.

MEN IN THE SUITS: *Gasp!*

BARACK OBAMA: Don't worry. He has already been subdued by government personnel.

GEORGE W. BUSH: Why couldn't we have just summoned my secretary?

BARACK OBAMA: Silence. You're not the president anymore, bub.

GEORGE W. BUSH: Aww...

BARACK OBAMA: However, I've just received word of a rescue party coming to save him. Since Mr. Bush here is no longer in power, we can't count on his secretary to stop them. Does anyone here know somebody strong, evil, and awe-inspiring who can help us?

SHIGERU MIYAMOTO: I know of a spiky creature named Bowser who fits your description.

GEORGE W. BUSH: Oh, yeah! I know him, too! He asked me to help him take down Mario one time. Sadly, it didn't work.

THE KING: Hey, I know that guy! He served as my assistant one time!

BARACK OBAMA: Then it's settled. We've got to retreive him and bring him to the Black House to help us stop that rescue party.

SQUADALA MAN: It is written! Only Bowser can save the Black House!

HILLARY CLINTON: But you've got a ton of government agents working for you. Why not ask them to do it? Better yet, why not just ask us?

BARACK OBAMA: Because it's ten minutes till five, and I know we're gonna wrap up our work day by then. After all, we government types all have places to be by then, don't we?

THE KING: Yeah! I'm gonna stuff my face and watch The Super Evil Guy Super Show!

HILLARY CLINTON: *Sigh...*

BARACK OBAMA: OK, Squadala Man, get on your magic carpet and bring that Bowser guy here. He shouldn't be hard to find, since he's got a castle named after him.

Squadala Man waves his hands and summons a magic carpet, which he uses to fly out of the Black House and set course for Bowser's Castle.

SQUADALA MAN: Squadala! We're off!

The End

Trivia
Squadala Man's lines are ripped straight out of The Legend of Zelda YTP RPG.