Retarded64: Mario Simulator

Plot
In the beginning of the episode, the title screen to the right shows. Then, Mario appears in the video game. The narrator then explains what is going on. After that, Mario is met by Luigi, who Mario punches, and moves on. He then finds a Toad, and kills it before it lays eggs. Mario then tries to enter a pipe, but is to fat to enter. Mario then enters the Castle and encounters Bowser. Mario then knocks Bowser out of the Koopa Clown Car, freeing Peach. Then Mario throws a sandwich at Bowser, killing him. An overjoyed Peach happily walk outside, and immediately gets herself captured again. Mario the finds one of the classic Brick Blocks, and jumps into it in hopes of getting coins, but ends of breaking his neck and spine. Mario then does a "360 degree noscope swagalicious ass pound" (which later turns out to be a very complicated way of doing the regular jump) and stomps a Goomba. However, he is struck by one coming from behind, and Mario dies of Goomba diabeetus. Mario goes through the beginning of the game again, looking at his hunger meter which is critically low. Mario eats spaghetti for 2 hours, but his hunger meter were filled 1%. After that, Mario ragequits and gives the game to Luigi and Wario before getting it back. He's still hungry, but he is given a kart instead of food. He drives out of the castle and immediately crashes, and he encounters Daisy with spaghetti in her skirt. She calls Mario a gutless fatso, and he dies of heartbreak (claiming he "wanted to live in a world with out fat people"). Mario goes through the beginning shenanigans AGAIN, but this time, he runs over Daisy with his kart. At a gas station, Mario meets Swagtubbie and is totally jealous of his shades. He is given the option to "be a douche", and he steals the Swagtubbie's shades, who promptly tries to run Mario down. Mario manges to get onto higher ground, and the Swagtubbie vows revenge. Due to the amount of points he got for "being a douche", Mario unlocks a secret simulator mode......... Toad simulator. He screams in rage, confusion, and dread, all the while Toad has begun to play this new mode, quickly achieving 9999999999999999999 points. Mario then throws Toad out and continues playing the regular game. Mario then confronts a hoard of Teletubbies, led by the Swagtubbie. The hoard throws him into the lake. Mario then tries to play the game on more time, but dies taking a crap. Mario becomes so angry, he actually turns into a Super Saiyan. He flies into space and throws the game cartridge into the Sun. Mario then proclaims, "I did it. I saved the world." Unbeknownst to Mario, immediately after he says this, the Earth explodes.



Mistakes

 * The Toad Simulator mode image disappears for a split second.
 * In the Toad and Luigi Simulators, the health still says "Mario".

Trivia

 * The episode made various references to video games.
 * The Game Over music heard on the 3rd and 4th deaths in the video is from Sega Rally.
 * On the first loading screen, Rocks in sprite form in visible.
 * In the HUD, Mario has 999999999 of every obtainabe item in the game.
 * The HUD is re-usedrom Mario's trials in Taken (like an idiot).
 * Mario appearently lived from "1990-chicken", which may be a reference to when Shy Guy died in Cooking with Bowser and Mario when it said he lived from "1990-toast".
 * The Mario Simulator cartridge is a Nintendo 64 cartridge.
 * Microsoft Sam is heard at the start saying " Hello. Welcome to Mario Simulator. You get to do Mario stuff. Hooray."