The Sorting Hat

The bisexual lover of Scary Godmother's hat, the Sorting Hat. A character of the hit series Harry Potter, the male hat (the only proof of his gender being a low, husky voice) whose purpose is to assign students of Hogwarts to their designated house.

History of the Sorting Hat
The story of the Sorting Hat is never fully explained but can be speculated that it has a history of love interests within the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, violating the rules against co-worker relationships. Starting his job at the school, he first laid eyes on Professor Severus Snape. Severus initially refused him, but the Sorting Hat's persistency formed a relationship between the two. The two lovers hid their relationship but were eventually found out by Madam Professor Minerva McGonagall. Being that the two had vital positions, Professor McGonagall agreed to keep their secret. The end of Snape's and Hat's relationship was the moment Severus had found Hat having an affair with Professor McGonagall. Fearing being caught by his superiors, the Sorting Hat then vowed to never to have relationships with co-workers again.

The Beginning of the Hats' relationship
The two hats had met at the supermarket Shoprite in Garwood, New Jersey. The Sorting Hat had gotten a job as the bagging manager. His job was to assign customer's purchases to their correct bags. While on the job, Scary Godmother's hat had been worn by an estranged body-building relative of Skully Pettibones. While having his purchases bagged, the two hats had grown closer to each other as they began to communicate in hat language. Since then, they have moved to Colorado to start their own accounting business.