Wario Games Too Hard

Wario Games Too Hard is an episode of The Super Wario Bros. Strike Back!

Transcript
Wario is in the living room, on the laptop the government gave him.

Waluigi walks in.

WALUIGI: Still hacking stuff?

WARIO: No. I already hacked Dry Bones and changed his Facebook profile picture to Hitler, like, seven times.

WALUIGI: So what are you doing now?

WARIO: Playing this new game called Super Mario World.

WALUIGI: Don't we know someone named Mario?

WARIO: Probably not.

Bowser walks in.

BOWSER: Damn Mario stopped me from kidnapping Princess Peach again...

WARIO: Who?

BOWSER: Mario.

WARIO: Shut up, I don't actually care.

Bowser runs out of the room, crying.

WALUIGI: Well, I'm going to bed.

WARIO: It's only 4:00 PM.

WALUIGI: Yeah, I know.

Waluigi goes into his bedroom.

WARIO: This game is pretty addicting...

The next morning, Waluigi walks out of his room. He yawns.

WALUIGI: Hey, Wario, you're up early. How'd you sleep?

WARIO: I didn't!

Wario is still playing on his laptop.

WALUIGI: How could you be playing Super Mario World for so long?

WARIO: BECAUSE IT'S THE BEST THING EVER! You get the egg and a little dinosaur called Yoshi shows up!

WALUIGI: Don't we know a little dinosaur named Yoshi?

WARIO: Nope.

There's a knock on the door. Waluigi answers it, and it's Yoshi.

YOSHI: Hey, guys, it's me, Yoshi, your little dinosaur friend!

WARIO: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

YOSHI: Okay...

Yoshi leaves.

WALUIGI: What was that for?

WARIO: He was distracting me from my game!

WALUIGI: I think you're a little too obsessed with this game, Wario...

WARIO: Shut up!

Later, Waluigi, Bowser, Donkey Kong, and Homer gather in the kitchen.

HOMER: What are we doing again?

WALUIGI: Having an intervention for Wario, he's addicted to this stupid game.

DONKEY KONG: That's exactly what happened to Diddy Kong...

Donkey Kong pulls out a framed picture of Diddy Kong, and sheds a single tear.

DONKEY KONG: He gamed too hard...

BOWSER: Alright, that random bit of backstory from Donkey Kong has convinced me. Let's save our friend! Well... he's more like a boss than a friend.

WALUIGI: Who cares! If he dies, then who's gonna pay us?

BOWSER: But he doesn't pay us.

Waluigi, Bowser, and Donkey Kong put their hands together, then throw them up in the air.

WALUIGI, BOWSER, AND DONKEY KONG: For Wario!

HOMER: Who's Wario?

In the living room, Wario has become super-fat, and is still playing on his laptop.

WARIO: Yeah, get the... get the coin. Yeah... now that's what I'm talking about. Now, get... get the... get the... yeah! Kill that Goomba!

The other X-Men charge into the room.

WALUIGI: Wario, you're gaming too hard! You're all fat now!

WARIO: What are you talking about?

Wario pulls off his fatsuit.

WARIO: I just got back from auditioning for Eddie Murphy's new movie, Meet the Klunks 2.

WALUIGI: Wait, what?

WARIO: Yeah. I've been going out, living life. I just like to play games every now and then.

BOWSER: But... but...

DONKEY KONG: Diddy Kong...

HOMER: I like trees.

WARIO: Just because I play videogames doesn't mean that's all I do. I still have a life. You guys suck.

Wario flips off the other X-Men, puts down his laptop, and leaves.

WARIO: I'm going to the strip club, be right back!

WALUIGI: Well, that was unexpected.

BOWSER: I want to go to the strip club, too...

THE END.

Moral
You can be a gamer and still have a life.