The Legend of Evil Guy

The Legend of Evil Guy is a cancelled episode of The Super Evil Guy Super Show! Like its predecessor, Begin Again, it was intended to be a part of the show's seventh season before it was cancelled. However, the episode still appears on the DVD-exclusive "bonus season".

Summary
Evil Guy and co. consult with the Sequel Policeman, who reveals that the timeline of The Super Evil Guy Super Show! has become more and more unstable as it progressed due to time travel, and has branched off into multiple alternate futures. With the help of the Sequel Policeman, Evil Guy and co. are tasked with stabilizing the timeline and saving the future(s).

Scene 1
Evil Guy and co. are standing in the Evil Guy Tower II with the Sequel Policeman, watching him as he holds Squadala Man's turban.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Now, to destroy this.

The Sequel Policeman whips out his ray gun and disintegrates the turban with a single blast.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: You're welcome.

EVIL GUY: For what? I still don't understand why you did that.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: That turban was theoretically capable of anything, including time travel. Thanks to your shenanigans, we're officially putting the kibosh on time travel and destroying anything in this world that can be used to travel through time.

PICKLE: Wait...what "shenanigans", exactly?

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Do you remember when you traveled back in time to escape a desolate future, ruled by sentient cupcakes?

PICKLE: Yeah, and Evil Guy said something about "becoming the past versions of ourselves" when we traveled to the past.

EVIL GUY: Um...

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: In a sense, that's right. You all traveled back in time and created a new timeline for yourselves, the one in which you reside now, but you still left an alternate future with evil cupcakes running around.

EVIL GUY: Oh. (Nervously) Time travel. It's complicated.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: And that's why you leave it to the professionals.

Evil Guy looks down at his feet.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: However, aside from your current timeline and the one filled with cupcakes, there's still the matter of the Red Army of Death.

EVIL GUY: Yeah, I remember them! We rewrote history to stop them from taking over the future.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Except you didn't.

ALL: What?!

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Raiza's virtually unlimited powers allowed him to travel back in time with you and exist in this timeline.

EVIL GUY: Yep, and he died.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: I know that, but what I also know is that the rest of the Red Army didn't travel back in time with him. Maybe they weren't smart enough, maybe they just weren't quick enough on the draw, but they stayed in their own timeline, resurrected New Mario, and made him their leader.

PICKLE: New Mario? How?

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: I can only guess, but like I said, their powers are virtually limitless.

EVIL GUY: That's terrible. What can we do?

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: From observing your timeline, I've seen that New Mario is the one constant threat in your world. The others, from Giygas to Evil Evil Evil Evil Evil Evil Guy, fought you once and disappeared. New Mario, however, keeps coming back.

EVIL GUY: Speaking of which, I actually have Evil Evil Evil Evil Evil Evil Guy sealed away in a pendant. I can call upon him at any time to come out, wreak havoc, and disappear before he realizes that he's in control of his own actions.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: That's convenient. Go grab that pendant now, along with anything else you think you might need.

EVIL GUY: What? Why?

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: I am personally flying you to each of those timelines so you can make New Mario meet his demise. Think of this as your community service for each of the futures you ruined.

EVIL GUY: Hey! I'm not the one who ruined them!

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: You allowed them to exist in the first place. (To Evil Guy's friends) The rest of you are off the hook.

PICKLE: Wait, but we'd gladly come with Evil Guy and help him!

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: This is his responsibility. You're staying here.

Evil Guy's friends all wander off in separate directions, visibly downcast. The Sequel Policeman presses a button on his helmet and a gray pod resembling a spaceship appears outside with a loud whoosh.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Get your things. My Timepod is waiting outside.

Fade to black.

Scene 2
Cut to Evil Guy and the Sequel Policeman, hunched over in the cramped confines of the Timepod. Evil Guy is dressed in his EvilGuy 008 garb, pendant and all, and holding his Darksaber from The End of Evil Guy Tower.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Remind me again: we're going to fight an army of nearly omnipotent warriors. Why are you armed with nothing but amateur-level spy equipment and a laser sword?

EVIL GUY: Hey, what do you mean by "amateur"? And I thought we were going to the cupcake timeline first.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Oh. I mean...I've already set our destination, and hopping back and forth isn't exactly instantaneous.

EVIL GUY: Hang on, I think you're dodging my earlier question. What did you mean by "amateur"?

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Fine. I can attach one of my cybernetic parts to your sword to help guide you.

The Sequel Policeman fiddles around with his helmet, pulls out a robotic part, and attaches it to the hilt of the Darksaber.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: That will give your sword the maneuverability and speed of a trained Sequel Policeman's weapon. I'm essentially giving you my reflexes.

The Timepod stops with a lurch and a bump.

EVIL GUY: Ow! Feels like we're here. But I still want to find out what you meant by "amateur".

The Timepod opens as Evil Guy climbs out of it, finding himself in the battle arena from Red Screen of the Future (Part 3). A Raiza-powered New Mario is floating above the arena, giving a speech to the Red Army of Death. He stops as he sees the Timepod.

NEW MARIO: Wait...you're the one who interrupted my speech! I know I've seen that pudgy face somewhere.

EVIL GUY: I'm the one who left you for dead all those years ago, after you made the mistake of tangling with an Undefeatable.

NEW MARIO: Yes, the shape-shifting robot guy. I remember.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Wait, Evil Guy, you didn't actually kill him?!

NEW MARIO: No, one of his friends did me in instead. Regardless, you're not welcome here. You'd do well to leave.

New Mario blasts a ball of energy at the Sequel Policeman, who closes the Timepod door just in time.

NEW MARIO: Actually, you can stay. I want you to see me finally crush Evil Guy once and for all.

The crowd cheers as New Mario teleports around Evil Guy, shooting energy balls at him from all directions. Evil Guy's Darksaber practically moves on its own to deflect the projectiles.

EVIL GUY: It's useless. Even if I keep defending myself, I won't be able to kill him without using his weakness against him!

Evil Guy thinks for a moment, then switches on his night-vision contact lenses.

EVIL GUY: Let's hope these things come in...

The lenses switch from transparent to green to blue.

EVIL GUY: ...Blue. Perfect.

New Mario continues to teleport around, but stops as he makes eye contact with Evil Guy.

NEW MARIO: Agh...no! It hurts to look at you! Stop it!

EVIL GUY: Wow, even this tiny twinge of blue stopped you in your tracks.

Evil Guy strides towards the paralyzed New Mario. The crowd is frozen in shock.

EVIL GUY: Hits you like a silver arrow, doesn't it?

Evil Guy stabs New Mario through the heart as a whirlwind of crimson energy dissipates from it. The crowd begins to rise to their feet, aghast, as their red energy leaves them as well. Evil Guy runs back to the Timepod and leaps into it.

EVIL GUY: Let's get out of here!

Fade to black.

Scene 3
The Timepod reappears in the other alternate future, where every city, town, and village has been replaced with fields of cupcakes growing out of the ground like plants. The Timepod's door swishes open as Evil Guy steps out.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: That was amazing. How did you incapacitate New Mario like that?

EVIL GUY: The Red Army's weakness is the color blue. I figured you'd know that.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Huh. I forgot about that. Well done.

EVIL GUY: What I don't understand is why everyone else's red energy disappeared after I defeated New Mario.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Oh, that's because, in addition to being Raiza's replacement, New Mario was chosen to be the physical embodiment of The Red Screen of Death. When you defeated New Mario, the Red Army was no more.

EVIL GUY: Wow. You could've told me sooner.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Quiet! Do you hear that?

A whistle cuts through the air like a falling atom bomb, followed by a massive crash. Evil Guy wheels around to see an oversized New Mario with a handful of sentient, wriggling cupcakes under one arm.

EVIL GUY: (Flatly) How.

NEW MARIO: Evil Guy! I'm the one who should be asking you "how"! My cupcake friends told me that you disappeared along with the Cupcake Castle years ago!

EVIL GUY: Yes, while you were in it! How are you here?

NEW MARIO: Well, as you know, cupcakes are often infused with special powers, such as my ability to grow as large as I have or teleport. One of those cupcakes was born with a very special power: it reached across space and time, plucked my dead body from your timeline to this one, and resurrected me with the help of a delicious friend!

EVIL GUY: But why?

NEW MARIO: A world needs a leader, Evil Guy! With the Cupcake Castle gone, the only cupcakes (and, by extension, the only living things) left are young and confused! I am a legend to them, Evil Guy, something you could never be.

EVIL GUY: That's a lie and you know it. You think you're so great? Fine, crush me!

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Evil Guy, what are you doing?

New Mario charges at Evil Guy, who rolls to the side and slashes at him with his Darksaber. It shatters on contact.

EVIL GUY: ...Oh.

New Mario keeps running, building momentum, and teleports by eating a silver cupcake. He re-appears to Evil Guy's left, charging at him even faster.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Do you have a plan?!

EVIL GUY: Yes. I don't like it, but I'm running out of options. Get out of the Timepod.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: What?!

Evil Guy rolls to the side again, this time barely escaping New Mario's trampling feet. The oversized plumber teleports again, with the Timepod standing between him and Evil Guy.

EVIL GUY: Now!

The Sequel Policeman jumps out of the Timepod as New Mario rams into it, tripping, falling, and causing it to explode. Both New Mario and the Timepod are vaporized without a trace.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: I hate you so much right now.

EVIL GUY: All at the cost of saving the future, right?

The Sequel Policeman takes the robotic part off the Darksaber's hilt and puts it back into himself. Just then, a group of sentient cupcakes run towards Evil Guy and bow to him.

EVIL GUY: And look! They worship me now.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Hmm. Ask them if they can bring us home.

EVIL GUY: OK, cupcakes, which one among you is capable of traveling between dimensions, through space and time?

A golden cupcake with purple sprinkles steps forward.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: You got lucky.

EVIL GUY: Relax, I got dessert! Split a cupcake?

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Fine.

Fade to black.

Scene 4
Cut to the interior of the Evil Guy Tower II, where Evil Guy and his friends are saying goodbye to the Sequel Policeman.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: You did well, Evil Guy. I've noticed that you've learned to think faster on your feet than before.

PICKLE: I still wish we could have come along. Besides, I've always wanted to have an adventure on my own like that.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: (Laughing) Oh, Pickle. You don't have enough personality to star in a spinoff series, and you're one of the most developed supporting characters.

PICKLE: What?

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: Nothing.

The Sequel Policeman takes several steps towards the door, stopping to shake Evil Guy's hand.

SEQUEL POLICEMAN: You saved the future and you are a real hero.

The Sequel Policeman exits. Evil Guy and the gang look out the window and see him eat the last of his cupcake from before, disappearing to wherever he came from.

FERNANDO: You know, I actually don't mind staying at the tower and not going on adventures. I've been brushing up on my dance moves.

SHADOW KIRBY: And I've emptied the fridge!

PICKLE: Hey, what happened to your Darksaber?

EVIL GUY: It's a long story.

PICKLE: We've got all day. Right, guys?

EVIL GUY: Well, let's just say I got to see New Mario again...

Evil Guy's friends gather around to listen to his story as the screen fades to black.

Moral
Your future isn't set in stone, but it's still your responsibility.

Trivia
The Sequel Policeman was originally going to be a woman, but this concept was dropped for no evident reason.