Five-year-old Girly Girls' Pii



Five-year-old Girly Girls' Pii is a shame for the Pii, obviously. It involves Peach, Daisy, Jordan and Cream the Rabbit as they mark their territory by peeing on everything, which they learn from PrincessTard in the tutorial level. The player must ride a Yoshi and make it swallow water, then pee it out all over the level. If the player loses a Yoshi by getting hit, they can still pee by using Pee Flowers. When 100% of the level is covered, the player moves on to the next level. Nobody ever bought or played this shame, so the only people who know about it are the 5-year-old girls, Eugene, and Tails, but they all refuse to talk about it.

Story
One day, Eugene creates a device that turns Peach and Daisy into 5-year-olds, so they invited Cream, Eko, and Yoshi. Unfortunately, Eko has lost her eyesight due to an accident, so she arrives with her new guide "dog", Tails. Soon, everybody becomes bored, and Tails decides to show the 5-year-old girls 3 new tricks: marking their territory by peeing all over everything, drinking beer, and farting. While everyone else is running away in horror at the thought of this idea, Birdo snags an opportunity to mate with Yoshi, producing two babies. They quickly grow into adults and convince the others to follow their lead. This kicks off the actual gameplay, which contains no further story elements in it until the final boss: DK, who is angry at Barney for setting a bad example and at the 5-year-old girls for following it.

Gameplay
The player starts the level wearing jeans: Jordan's jeans are gray while the others' jeans are blue. The controls are simple: use the control stick and buttons to move and jump, respectively. Once Jordan jumps into the water, he gains the ability to pee, which is necessary to complete each level. Once the entire level is covered in pee, the level is complete.

Triva
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Why It Was Never Bought

 * The premise is disgusting.
 * Who'd want to buy a game where Peach and Daisy are 5 years old and everyone is unbuttoning and unzipping their jeans?
 * Who'd want to buy a ripoff of SMBP
 * Do you really need more reasons?
 * Really?
 * No, seriously. Stop reading this.
 * All right, all right, that's enough. Peach