Bill Gates

Bill Gates
Bill Gates was born in the year 56 B.C. He owns pretty much everything. Never tell him you don't work for him, because he will only smile and say "That's what you think." He once said this to the president. Which is true, since the president works for the people of America, and 99.999999 percent of American people work for Bill Gates. Thus we can determine that we are actually being governed by Bill Gates.

Early Life
Bill Gates was once a monkey named George. George is from The Sun. He had to leave when the sun got angry. This took place when George was young. At age 7, I think. At age 10 he moved here. The dim-witted mushroom people were easily tricked into slavery. He quickly grew bored, changed his name to Bill Gates, and moved here. His vacation home is here. This is known as the Great Revelation.

After the Great Revelation
At age 678 he had seven children. Age 987 brought another bundle of joy. These Children were later beleived to belong to his cousin, Bowser. This was recently debunked, however.

His only true friends are these guys here. They were the original residents of Toad Town. These "Goombas" are now known as traitors. They were brainwashed by the Koopa Troopas into their current form of thought. Subsequent generations have slightly deviated from original thought practices planted by the Troopas. He then had his eighth son re-brainwash the remainder of the Goombas under his control. This era was known as The Between Times.

The Rold and Gold Age
Bill Gates had a series of good years known as the Gold and Rold Age. It was during this time he squashed the great the The Great Toad Rebellion, and sentenced Gooma and her husband, Goompa to a small home outside Toad Town.

Mario
Bill Gates has had a few encounters with Mario. A couple of times Mario went after Bowser, the Koopa King pushed blame to his cousin Bill. Note: The Koopa Kids and Bowser Jr. have taken DNA tests, and as such have been subsequently returned to their biological father, Bill Gates. His relationship with the Mario family has changed in recent years, however. He recently started employing Mario Mario's cousins Wario Mario and Waluigi Mario. These two were involved in the design of the X-box controller. They are now secretly working on the iX-Box.

iX-Box
The iX-Box is being billed as Bill's greatest work. It has "i" in front in order to play off the success of the iPod. His two best workers, Wario Mario and his brother Waluigi Mario are currently working on it.

Specs
A 3.7 Giga-Chuck Norris proccessor and extremely Small Buttons that cost extra. Screen sold seperatly.

Games
There are two games planned, marketed at $234 a peice.

Titles
McBill's Adveture and Fargo the Wise are being developed by RareWare as Halo games.

His Greatest Creation
Arguably Bill Gate's greatest creation was R.O.B.

ROB
R.O.B. was an android developed by Mr. Gates. Nintendo saw this great creation as a threat, and subsequently bought the rights to R.O.B.

Functions
He can read, write, play videogames, and pilot interstellar vessels.

Pants
Bill Gates also has a large collection of pants. Very large. All the pants are in his size: XXXXXL.

Jump Start
Bill Gates is also an avid fan of the Jump*Start Series. He is currently on the kindergarten disk, having finnaly beat the PRE-K disk after years of trying. He plans on working his way up to 2nd grade. If only he knew his alphabet.

Bill Gates