Cookies

Cookies are sweet, delicious treats. Although not as beloved as cakes, the main advantage of cookies is that there can be five in a package. Cookies are baked with sugar, flower, and love (^__^). Cookies are the most sought-after objects of the Internets. Whenever cookies are mentioned, one can expect the Cookie Monster, Arnold Schwarzenegger, or even Dexter to make an appearance.

Fortune Cookies
Fortune cookies are mystic treats that supposedly contain answers to your future. These fortunes are less cryptic than those created by Nostradamus, but they're also less likely to ever happen. They were created by Asian Americans in order to profit from ramen-eating weeaboos who seek "authentic" Asian cuisine. Fortune cookies also tend to contain the supposed winning numbers to the lottery. Recently, however, fortune cookies began to stop offering fortune and to provide advice and ancient Chinese proverbs instead.

Protip: Point out to weeaboos that fortune cookies were invented in Texas.

Cookie Monster
Cookie Monster has generally been viewed as a lovable, huggable creature. Cookie Monster is so named due to his fierce and beastly love for cookies and all things sweet. He's been on Sesame Street since Day 1, and for most of that time, there wasn't any complaining.

Recently, however, things changed. Over 60% of Americans were fat and sloppy. Concerned, Christian mothers began to look for a scapegoat. Someone or something had to be responsible, but it couldn't be themselves. It had to been some evil, foreign influence. It had to be from TV or video games; it couldn't be from enablers such as themselves. These parents blamed Cookie Monster and flooded Sesames Street's human resources department with complaints.

In response, the Sesame Street executives forced Cookie Monster to cut down on cookies. Cookies became a "sometimes food"; now, he eats fruits first. Sesame fanbois then attacked the Sesame Street executives for turning him into a so-called Veggie Monster. Cookie Monster denies these claims and claims that he would eat (almost) anything.