Rise of Mario

Characters

 * Bowser
 * Mario
 * New Luigi
 * Wawabowser
 * New Mario
 * Squadala Man
 * Mr. Game & Watch

Scene 1
Cut to the severely damaged Black House, where Mario is forcing New Luigi and Wawabowser to renovate the entire building.

NEW LUIGI: Ugh, this is so much work! Why do we have to fix the whole place ourselves?

MARIO: Well, I would have the Men in the Suits do it, but they all scattered to different places. Squadala Man fled to the Squadala Empire, Hillary Clinton is in the hospital, and the others ran away.

NEW LUIGI: Fine...Let's go, Wawabowser.

Wawabowser and New Luigi stomp off to repair the Black House, and Mario lies down to take a nap.

Scene 2
Bowser is at Mario's House, searching for Barack Obama.

BOWSER: Hello? Mr. President?

Bowser overturns all the furniture in the room, but sees nothing.

BOWSER: Mr. President? Where are you?

Suddenly, a small, black humanoid named Mr. Game and Watch pops out from under the charred, smoldering curtain.

MR. GAME AND WATCH: No, Bowser. I am not the President any longer.

BOWSER: What the--? Mr. President, is that you?

MR. GAME AND WATCH: It was me, but now I am only Mr. Game and Watch. This is my true form. Since my other form perished in the fire, this is all that's left of me now.

BOWSER: No...no. We have to stop that pesky rat!

MR. GAME AND WATCH: Who?

BOWSER: MARIO! This is all his fault. We're going to the Black House right now and stopping him!

MR. GAME AND WATCH: But how?

BOWSER: Cario's outside. Let's hijack it.

Scene 3
Meanwhile, betwixt the rolling hills of the Squadala Empire, a shadowy figure exits from his go-kart, then steps into the sunlight, revealing himself to be New Mario.

NEW MARIO: Ah, what a wonderful day to conquer the universe!

Suddenly, a tall, elderly gentleman appears behind New Mario on his magic carpet. It turns out to be Squadala Man.

SQUADALA MAN: What was that?!

NEW MARIO: Oh, uh, Squadala Man! Fancy seeing you here! I was just about to...Conker the universe. You know, spread the word of Conker T. Squirrel to all who may hear it!

SQUADALA MAN: Don't try to lie your way out of this. I know who you are...Mario.

NEW MARIO: Oh, I'm not Mario. I'm one of his replacements. The name's New Mario. The truth is, Mario and I aren't on the best of terms. You see, he kidnapped my minions and fled somewhere, presumably to the Black House.

SQUADALA MAN: Really? Well, let's go!

Squadala Man waves his hands in the air and causes the magic carpet to soar into the sky.

SQUADALA MAN: Squadala, we're off!

Squadala Man floats away, and New Mario follows him in his go-kart.

Scene 4
Cut to the Black House, which has finally been repaired. An army of Yoshis and Toads is standing in front of the Black House, listening as Mario gives a speech.

MARIO: ...And so, Toads, is it not true that I have rescued you repeatedly, even though the actual princess was in another castle?

TOADS: Yeah! Woohoo! You're awesome! (Etc.)

MARIO: And you, Yoshis, care about nothing but food, correct?

YOSHIS: Yoshi! Yoshi yoshi! Yoshi! (Etc.)

MARIO: Now, it is time for you to serve me proudly and do the name of Mario M. Mario the justice it deserves! Guard the Black House and protect it from invaders, and I will rescue you and give you food as much as you want!

ALL: Yayyyyyy!

MARIO: (To himself) Ha ha ha! I am the most powerful man in the Mushroom Kingdom!

NEW LUIGI: *Pant* Gasp* Why couldn't you have hired the army before you made Wawabowser and me renovate the entire Black House?

The End

Trivia
Conker T. Squirrel made a cameo in this episode; he was mentioned by name.