A Very Special Episode

A Very Special Episode is a very special episode of The Super Wario Bros. Strike Back! It should be noted that this episode features certain language and content that could be soon as offensive. Reader discretion is advised.

Transcript
At the house, Wario and Walugi are sitting on the couch, watching the news.

NEWS REPORTER: And there were no survivors. In lighter news, several Mushroom Kingdom celebrities have been exposed as depraved perverts, most notably... Nim-Nom. But we all saw that one coming.

WALUIGI: Man, Wario. Times sure are changing. We're just in such a touchy time, politicially, you know?

WARIO: What in the god damn hell are you talking about?

Donkey Kong walks into the room.

DONKEY KONG: You guys, I'm gonna be hitting up the political rally later, just to make change in my community.

WALUIGI: Since when are you politically conscious, DK?

DONKEY KONG: Since it became cool and trendy.

WARIO: What's your stupid rally even about, anyways?

DONKEY KONG: You know. To change... stuff. Make stuff better. And stuff.

WALUIGI: Wow. That sounds retarded.

Donkey Kong gasps.

DONKEY KONG: Waluigi! You shouldn't say that! What are you, a 12-year-old kid who just got killed in Call of Duty?

In the next room, Homer is playing Call of Duty. Another player kills him. Homer slams his controller to the ground.

HOMER: You retard!

WARIO: Oh, get over it, DK. People say what they want. Are you trying to call us immature?

DONKEY KONG: Yeah.

Wario jumps up off of the couch.

WARIO: I'm not immature! You're immature, you poopy butt head!

Wario storms off.

WARIO: You big old jerk... I'm gonna go play my video games...

WALUIGI: Wow. There goes the coolest guy I know.

DK sits down next to Waluigi.

WALUIGI: You know, I didn't think that word could offend people. I just threw it around all willy-nilly because Wario did.

DONKEY KONG: Well, you know, those were simply times, Waluigi. We all just gotta be a little more woke.

WALUIGI: Woke?

DONKEY KONG: Hell yeah. Well... I gotta go make change. Or whatever.

Donkey Kong gets up and walks out the door. Waluigi runs after him.

WALUIGI: Wait!

At the rally, a lot of people are standing around holding signs with various vague slogans on them like "Make Change", "Stuff Should Be Better", and "Signs Are Cool". Donkey Kong and Waluigi walk up into the crowd.

DONKEY KONG: You sure about this, Waluigi?

WALUIGI: I wanna be part of the revolution!

DONKEY KONG: Well it's not as much a revolution as it is a big sign party.

WALUIGI: I like signs.

Waluigi looks up at a sign that says "Change". He stares at it, confused.

WALUIGI: Ch... Chongy. Chongy? What's Chongy?

DONKEY KONG: Are you kidding me? That says change. CHANGE. Can you even read?

WALUIGI: Shut up, Donkey Kong, I can read perfectly fine!

DONKEY KONG: Spell your name, then. Right now.

WALUIGI: Um... W--O-L-G-E. Duh.

DONKEY KONG: That doesn't spell Waluigi.

WALUIGI: Well I sounded it out!

DONKEY KONG: How did you get through school?

WALUIGI: My parents never sent me to school. They said I was a lost cause.

DONKEY KONG: Hm... well, then...

Donkey Kong and Waluigi walk into a principal's office at the local school. They sit down at the desk. The principal has a baseball cap on backwards.

PRINCIPAL: What's up, dawgs?

WALUIGI: You're the principal of this place?

PRINCIPAL: Heck yeah, bro. I'm trying to appeal to modern kids by being a hip, trendy principal.

The principal pulls out a fidget spinner and starts spinning it.

PRINCIPAL: Woah! Woah! Woah!

DONKEY KONG (Whispering to Waluigi): Maybe this was a bad idea...

WALUIGI: Maybe. But I want to learn, DK! This can be my chance to emulated!

DONKEY KONG: You mean educated?

WALUIGI: Whatever.

PRINCIPAL: So, what brings you sick homies to my hizzie?

DONKEY KONG: I'd like to enroll my friend here in your school.

PRINCIPAL: And is this your son?

DONKEY KONG: Um... sure.

WALUIGI: I thought Diddy Kong was your son?

DONKEY KONG: No! Or... yes. Or... no. Or... maybe...

The next day, Waluigi is sitting in class. All the little kids are staring at him.

WALUIGI: What are you guys looking at?

BABY WARIO: Aren't you a grown-up?

WALUIGI: Yeah.

BABY WALUIGI: Aren't you me?

WALUIGI: I hope not. You look like a little dork.

All the other kids point and laugh at Baby Waluigi, who cries. Waluigi and Baby Wario high five. The teacher walks in.

TEACHER: Well, class, today is our big test.

WALUIGI: Shit! I knew I should've waited a few days...

The teacher passes out the test sheets. Waluigi just stares at his.

WALUIGI: Oh... oh, boy...

Later that day, Waluigi and Donkey Kong walk back into the house.

DONKEY KONG: I can't believe I had to pick you up...

WALUIGI: What do you mean, Dad?

DONKEY KONG: Stop CALLING ME THAT!

Wario walks into the room.

WARIO: What's up with you two?

DONKEY KONG: Well, it was your brother's first day of school...

Wario laughs.

WARIO: And tell me, now... how did that go?

WALUIGI: Pretty bad. They had to put me in a special class...

Wario stumbles back.

WARIO: Special class?

Waluigi nods.

WARIO: What, like... for... "special" kids?

DONKEY KONG: I'd assume so.

Wario laughs.

WALUIGI: Shut up!

Waluigi storms out of the room.

DONKEY KONG: Oh, boy...

The next day, Donkey Kong arrives at the school. He walks into the principal's office.

PRINCIPAL: What's up? Take a seat, home slice!

Donkey Kong sits down.

DONKEY KONG: So, I understand that my... "son"... is in a... um... how do I say this? "Special" class.

The principal nods.

PRINCIPAL: Oh yeah, bro. For shizzle, Donkizzle.

DONKEY KONG: Don't call me that.

PRINCIPAL: You see, we found that your son is WAAAY too smart for normal classes, so---

DK jumps up out of his seat.

DONKEY KONG: Too smart?

The principal nods.

PRINCIPAL: He's a genius!

DONKEY KONG: No! No! That can't be right! You must have him mixed up with some other Waluigi!

PRINCIPAL: There's only one Waluigi! Well, except for that baby one...

DONKEY KONG: Bam. There's your genius.

PRINCIPAL: No, he's a dumbass. You see, YOUR Waluigi has the highest IQ this school system has ever seen. He's the Albert Einstein of weird plumber guys! Why are there so many weird plumber guys in this town?

DONKEY KONG: Popular job choice, I guess.

At the house, Donkey Kong and Waluigi walk in. Wario is sitting on the couch.

WARIO: What's up, you goofy goobers?

WALUIGI: Shut up, Wario.

DONKEY KONG: Apparently... Waluigi is a genius.

WARIO: A genius?

WALUIGI: You know it.

WARIO: But he couldn't even read!

WALUIGI: I'm only human, I make mistakes!

WARIO: Sure...

DONKEY KONG: It's... it's true. He's the smartest person in town. In the state. In the COUNTRY!

Waluigi dabs.

WARIO: I can't believe you just did that.

WALUIGI: Sorry. All the teachers at that school try so hard to be hip. I think it's starting to rub off on me...

DONKEY KONG: Well, I guess that just goes to show you. Never judge a book by it's cover. Your parents really should have sent you to school.

WALUIGI: About that. I think I want to quit school. It's all too easy for me, and the other kids all call me a nerd and make fun of me for being smart. It's rough.

DONKEY KONG: Really?

WALUIGI: People pick on me when I'm dumb, they pick on me when I'm smart... I just can't catch a break!

WARIO: It's almost like you're just a weird, smelly creep and your actual intelligence has nothing to do with it...

WALUIGI: Yeah. Whatever you just said.

Waluigi leaves the room. Donkey Kong sits down next to Wario.

DONKEY KONG: Well... I guess that's the end of that chapter in our exciting lives.

WARIO: Yeah. That was all pretty... stupid.

THE END.

Morals

 * If you want to appeal to today's kids, you got to be hip and trendy. #Dab #XD #2Hip4Me