Waluigi

"He looks like Adolf Hitler. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?! (laugh track)"

- Luigi  A Waluigi is a bad-tasting and often poisonous kind of English Muffin. The word can also refer to Waluigi, Wario's little brother who has repeatedly been convicted of incest. Waluigi thinks that he is cool, suave, and attractive, but he is really ugly and annoying. Nobody likes him, and he constantly whines about it. So far, Waluigi has only appeared in crappy sports shames, but he was also the damsel in distress in Super Mario 128. Because Waluigi likes to cross-dress, he was mistaken for Peach and placed in the role.

Waluigi is probably best known for his big, stupid nose, which, contrary to popular belief, was not stolen from Michael Jackson. He is typically an evil character with a grudge against Luigi. He holds this grudge because, when they were teenagers, Waluigi's girlfriend, Daisy, left him for Luigi.

Creation
During the Videogame War, Luigi's primary enemies were Queen and King Boo. But, following their defeat, Luigi was in need of a new nemesis. So, the videogame designers created Waluigi, in an attempt to give Luigi a super-cool foe. However, they failed horribly. They designers tried to get rid of Waluigi by putting in the trash can, but he came back out. They had no choice. They were now stuck with Waluigi, an uncool, tall, clunky loser in desperate need of deoderant.

Childhood
As a child, Waluigi spent most of his life locked in a cold, dark room with no one to talk to. His parents were strict Nazi soldiers who never let him leave the house, placed him on a bread and water diet, and gave him zero masturbation privelleges. Scarred as a child, Waluigi escaped the first chance he got. He ran away to Nintendo's headquarters in Albequerque, where they made him a videogame star.

Playing Tennis
Waluigi's first appearance was in Mario Tennis, where he proved that filler characters suck.

Drafted
Waluigi was going to fall into obscurity when he was drafted by the Association of Board Hosts to break the tie on whether or not Horror Land Round-About should have been included in Mario Party 643. Had Daisy never had the shockingly sudden illness (some sources say that it was Waluigi's revenge on her for what happened when they were teenagers), Waluigi would never have become a character in the Mario Party franchise.

A Horrible Dancer
Waluigi tried to dance one day, but Wario, who was passing by, thought that he was a horrible dancer and made fun of him. Angry, Waluigi decided to steal the Music Keys to make himself a ladies' man. However, he accidentally stole Bowser's house keys. Bowser beats Waluigi up, and Waluigi decided to go back to being a loser.

Kidnapped!
Later, in the shame Super Mario 128, Waluigi decided to put on ladies clothing, probably because he's insecure with his body. While he was wearing dresses, he was kidnaped by the Evil Guy, who thought that he was Peach. The Evil Guy was found and defeated by Luigi and Wario, but Waluigi's was never found. His current whereabouts, whatabouts, whosabouts, and buttsabouts are currently unknown.

He returns in the sequal during the fight against Paper Daisy, turning her into a Paper Plane, ending the fight.

In the Fast-Food Industry
Waluigi appears in Super Ronald Galaxy, working for The King and Colonel Sanders. He appears as the boss of the first boss level, Colonel Sanders' Bucket Reactor. He later reappears as a mini-boss in the final boss level, The King's Restaurant Reactor. However, Waluigi is apparently killed when the Restaurant Reactor explodes.

Waluigi's Social Life
None.



Pictures of Waluigi Naked
Why the hell are you looking this up, you perv? Waluigi porn will blind you!* He's really ugly!


 * *Free sunglasses follow.*
 * *Does not apply in India, Russia, Vatican City or Slarchia.*
 * *Is Slarchia even a real country?*
 * *If you could read that, then you have really big eyes. Either that or you cheated.*
 * *Really.