Evil Guy's Departure to College

The Huge War Against Cupcakes is the grand finale of The Super Evil Guy Super Show! It is loosely based on the events in Season 4, but it incorporates plot devices and characters from future episodes.

Summary
Evil Guy and his friends are all going their separate ways, and are reminiscing on their past adventures together. Of course, there are a few creative liberties here and there.

Script
Scene 1

Evil Guy, Pickle, Fernando, Wario, and Shadow Kirby are all standing outside Reverend Tryclyde's church with suitcases in their hands and tears in their eyes.

EVIL GUY: (sniffles) I wish I didn't have to go to college! I'll miss you, everybody!

SHADOW KIRBY: Dear lord...are you crying?

EVIL GUY: I'm not crying! I'ts just...a ninja is cutting an onion next to me! Yeah, let's go with that.

SHADOW KIRBY: Right...

FERNANDO: Why do you have to go to college again, anyway?

EVIL GUY: "Again"?

FERNANDO: Huh? How old are you?

EVIL GUY: That's irrelevant. Anyway, I'm glad we had so many fantastic adventures together.

PICKLE: Yeah! Remember that time we all went to the future?

WARIO: Eh?!

EVIL GUY: Oh, yeah. He doesn't remember. Let's tell him!

A flashback ensues.

Scene 2

Our heroes are walking along, taking in the bleak landscape. The sky is a dull, brownish-gray color and the earth, which is a faded brown hue, is seeded with vibrantly colored cupcakes. High-pitched laughter emanates from these cupcakes as our heroes walk by.

EVIL GUY: Eeeeuuuuuggghhhhh... we've got to get out of here fast. How long have we been frozen?

SHADOW KIRBY: Didn't New Mario say we would be frozen for "a few decades"?

EVIL GUY: So this is the future?

WALUIGI: Looks pretty bleak.

SHADOW KIRBY: Depressing.

Suddenly, the earth beneath our heroes' feet rumbles. A tower rises out of the ground, with our heroes on top of it. It is soon revealed to be the topmost tower of an immense, pink castle. The flat surface of the tower has a cupcake-shaped emblem on it.

EVIL GUY: This has to be the work of those horrible plumbers!

FERNANDO: How do we get inside the tower?

EVIL GUY: We all jump at once. Ready? One...two...THREE!

Everybody jumps at once, breaking through the floor that actually turns out to be the tower's ceiling. They fall into the castle, which is completely pink and floats in the sky.

EVIL GUY: Let's split up and look around. Maybe we'll find something.

Everybody runs along the myriad of corridors in the castle until Evil Guy finds a dusty, beaten-up machine with a sticky note on it.

EVIL GUY: Oh, hey! Let's see what that says. "Time machine. Invented by Prof. E. Gadd. Warning: highly unstable. Causes entire acres of land to travel through time and is nigh-impossible to control." Well, here goes nothing!

Evil Guy turns the giant wind-up key on the side of the machine, causing it to envelop everything in sight in a blinding flash of light.

Scene 3

EVIL GUY: ...So, yeah, that's what happened.

WARIO: Why do I not remember any of this?

EVIL GUY: You were dead, remember?

WARIO: Nooooo...

ALL: OK, this is how it went down...

Another flashback ensues.

Scene 4

New Mario and New Luigi have cornered Wario and Waluigi as the former is talking to Evil Guy and co.

WARIO: Take Waluigi and run. I'll hold these two off.

NEW MARIO and NEW LUIGI: Challenge accepted.

Evil Guy and co. are fleeing with Waluigi, who demands to know what is going on.

WALUIGI: Waahhh! Don't listen to Wario! I can fight too! Besides, who are you, anyway?

PICKLE: Oh, you are most welcome.

EVIL GUY: We're Wario's friends from a while back. Who the heck are you?

WALUIGI: I'm Waluigi! I'm a type of poisonous English muffin in human form.

EVIL GUY: Really? In that case, I can see why the New Mario Bros. would want you out of their way. You could poison the entire cupcake plantation, or at least that cupcake tree they were carrying!

SHADOW KIRBY: I didn't know cupcakes grew on trees!

EVIL GUY: Well, they do now.

FERNANDO: WHOA! Look behind us!

New Mario and New Luigi are riding Wario's motorcycle, using it to rapidly catch up to our heroes and cut them off, preventing them from proceeding further.

NEW MARIO: Wah-haaa! You think you could run from us?!

WALUIGI: What did you do to Wario?!

NEW MARIO: We cooled him down a little.

NEW LUIGI: And now it's time to freeze YOU!

ALL: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

They get frozen by New Mario and New Luigi, who drive off as they laugh maniacally. The screen fades to black as the "Game Over" music plays.

Scene 5

WARIO: So I died a hero? How did I come back to life?

EVIL GUY: We made a time paradox after we came back from the future.

FERNANDO: We also saved you the same way, Pickle.

PICKLE: You did?

FERNANDO: Yeah.

Flashback.

Scene 6

Inside the Cupcake Castle, Evil Guy and his friends are slowly but surely being overwhelmed by the army of cupcakes.

EVIL GUY: Oh, no...is this truly how we will die?

FERNANDO: Well, it sure looks like it. We won't last much longer.

Suddenly, Pickle and Wario appear in the midst of the cupcake army. Pickle fries them all in a whirlwind of green fire, and Wario runs them over with his motorcycle.

EVIL GUY: Woohoo! You're alive!

PICKLE: You mean we were dead?

FERNANDO: We saved you by traveling to the past after you died.

WARIO: (Still driving around) Wah-ha-ha! Wheeeee!

PICKLE: Well, if we're in the past, shouldn't there be past versions of ourselves?

EVIL GUY: No, because we have essentially BECOME the past versions of ourselves.

PICKLE: Huh?

EVIL GUY: Time travel. It's complicated.

Scene 7

PICKLE: Cool. So that's how our war against the cupcakes ended?

EVIL GUY: Yep. We got rid of them with time travel.

FERNANDO: Good times. Oh, well. We'll miss you, Evil Guy!

EVIL GUY: Thanks. I'll miss you guys, too.

A limousine full of Shy Guys drives up. A Shy Guy pops out and beckons to Evil Guy.

SHY GUY: Hop in, son. It's time to go.

SHADOW KIRBY: The Shy Guy Armada!

SHY GUY: That's us. Now, c'mon, Evil Guy. We don't have much time.

The limousine drives away with Evil Guy in it, and Evil Guy's friends all watch with tears in their eyes. Suddenly, a ninja with an onion in his hand makes himself visible.

NINJA: Sorry about that. I'll be leaving now.

The ninja leaves, but the tears...are still present.

Moral
Dang ninjas cutting onions...

Trivia
This is, again, the grand finale of The Super Evil Guy Super Show!