Zelda

Zelda is a common brand of Berry that is extremely acidic and painful to eat. They are mostly found in West Hyrule, the Mushroom Kingdom, and the Ghetto. The are found in clumps, in bushes. When you walk by a Zelda bush, you can often hear them screaming for you to come and put them out of their misery. When digested, they often give you extreme cramps, farts, Warioitis, asplosions, or even death.

Origins of Zelda
Contrary to popular belief, Zelda is not a princess at all. They are more common than Waluigis, and taste almost as bad. The first appearance of a Zelda was in the Great Derp Convention of '46, which was as a result of a merger between a strange elf girl named Zelda and a raspberry. Using his scissors, Napoleon Bonaparte then multiplied the new berry by several trillion, and spread it all over the world. This has resulted in a Zelda infestation, and many Guys attempted to destroy them all. The numbers decreased but many people agree that there are still too many Zeldas in the world.