Wario

“Wario is so fat, that when he's in a restaurant and gets the menu, he says ‘I'll have that!’”
—Brody Foxx

“And the winner is... Diabetes”
—Super Smash Bros. narrator

Wario
Real Name:	W. Wario
Birth:	1982
Age:	33
Health:	Fat & addicted to Garlic
Family and relatives:	Unknown
Impostor(s)	Mario, Wawario, Walleo, Wawawaluigi, Goering
Death:	Anal vore
Gender:	Wale

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called "experts" at MarioWiki have a real article on Wario.

Wario and his girlfriend Mona and some dumb witch girl named Ashley.

Wario's card(banned in Europe for stupid reasons)

Wario (also known as a Fartudinous Lump of Poo) is Mario's evil twin brother and first appeared in the 1600s as a terribly mutated Mario cookie. However, George Bush started making more to make money and acquire minions.

Once, Wario has replaced Mario and has starred in his shames, such as Super Mario 128.,but was soon fired after Nintendo discovered he was a member of the X-Men crew. He also wrote the song Fat.

He likes tacos!!!

In Super Mario & Wario Moonshine, Wario had taken up going around like a maniac and one faithful rage led him to be reunited with Mario. They gained uber-powuhs and he became Wario-Man, the violet garlic. He is revealed to be very smart despite the fact he lost in an IQ test to George W. Bush. This maybe because the game was half-developed by a company in PHILLIPS. Wario has claimed to have shoved many things in his infinite butt including 17,000 slices of Toast, a copy of the fake Legend of Zelda Trailer and even Paris Hilton. Wario directed his first game ever, Grand Theft Sesame Street. Next he would direct movies made by Pixor, such as Porn Story, Retards Inc., and his own Finding Wario.

This looks like a job for......Wario-Man!

Mario Tag Stats

• Strength: 4.8/5
• Speed: 2.6/5
• Jump: 3/5
• Special ability: 3/5

Early life

Wario was born in Old Forge Pennsylvania, the dirty Whop capital of the world,

Wario in an anime

before relocating to near Yoshi's Island (where his parents dropped him off hoping that he would be picked up by the island's high-quality educational system). This is chronicled in Yoshi's Island DS. Unfortunately, due to Wario's flatulent properties, the residents attempted to sell him on eBay for rougly $2.00, with the description calling him "Willy McToot-Toot's off-spring", and them kicked him out into the woods when this plan backfired.

Wario's Minion

After ten years of gathering stench, Wario found a video game company that would support his desire to become famous and rich. Producing "WarioWare" and other games, Wario also found that he had a cousin, also in the video game industry, Mario, whom Wario became rabidly jealous of. This sent him spiralling into despression and he became a crazed drug addict who now lives in Los Angeles. Wario still manages to produce games, creating such titles as "Shoot the Hooker and Run" and "Wario Sex Oddysey" for Wii. He likes shouting WWWEEEAAA at Mario.

Soon after that, Wario meets a Meme called Memes who talked about Pokemon and Animal Crossing. This meme called memes is a lot more stupider than Some Stupid Guy. Weird, just move on.

Wario's Minion Poster

Wario had been trying to kill Mario for 20 years,then when he got drunk,he made a gaming company and hired a Pimp named Jimmy Testicles and his bro Jimmy Penis and hired a whore from a pizza restaurant named Mona the Slut,an alien player named Orbulon,a kewl pimp named 9-Volt and his homie 18-Volt, a swinger named Young Cricket, a bitch named Ashley, two hitmen named Dribble and Spitz, a crazy wild-eyed scientist who claims to be neutered named Dr. Crygor with a whiny niece named Penny and a robot named Mike, and two Japanese hotties named Kat and Ana.

Wario's Stupid Face

After going through many failed relationships, Wario began to feel hopeless and unloved. He started to experiment with illegal drugs and eventually became addicted to crack. During this time, relationships with his friends and family began to crumble. His video game obsession took over his life and soon all he did all day was play his microgames. He began to neglect his own personal hygiene and he became so disgusting that no one wanted to hang around with him. After seeing a psychologist, Wario was put on zoloft which had the odd side effect of making him a

A Minion Snail

greedy freakin' boi. Not able to reconcile with his loved ones, Wario moved from his old home in the Mushroom Kingdom to Diamond City, Arkansas where he began a new life and got new friends so that everything was all right and none of the other stuff that happened before mattered. He took to heavy drinking and started the Battle Of Dolphin Island

Wario's Party

Soon Wario met a shiny Froslass named Minerva (she is the same Froslass in Robotnik's tape, isn't that obvious), who was working as an exotic dancer at the time. They had been dating at his new home in Diamond City. In January 16, 2008, Wario proposed to Minerva and Minerva consented, which made Wario very happy. They had gotten married in Tbillisi, Georgia, because Minerva was born there. 9 months later, they had Human/Froslass triplets, Jayce, Lepus, and Warriorette. The couple is now living happily in Diamond City and Minerva is pregnant again. By the way, Wario is still obsessed with video games, but limits his intake to one game a day to be with his family. lol!

His Death

Wario as a member of the Red Army of Death, as seen in Red Screen of the Future (Part 4).

One Day, Wario logged into YouTube and was commenting on how he literally crap himself when the AVGN popped out and yelled "ASS!" in his Nintendo Power

Wario's Uncle

episode. Then his stomach growled, so he got up and headed for his fridge, but stopped when he heard a kitten meow at the door. So he waddled over to the door and opened it. He thought of making kitten burgers out of it, but then he remembered an article he read on kitten huffing. He grabbed the cute little ORANGE Kitten and brought him over to his cutting board. He huffed all of the little guy's soul he could. Then he obtained an addiction. He died on January 1, 2009 because of too many Orange kittens

Wario/Waluigui

While kitten huffing is the most proveable cause of Wario's death, some people come up with the crazy idea that his demise was a result of his extreme morbid obesity. The story goes like this: one day Wario was on the prowl for more kittens to huff when he approached your friendly neighborhood crack dealer to ask him if he had any orange kittens. But the dealer had already huffed his kittens, and mistoke Wario for a pissed off diabetic snowman and got the fuck out of there before it ate him. Wario, going into a kitten withdrawl, then decides to eat something/someone, and rather than devouring the nearest solar system as he usually does, goes to get an equally satiafying meal at McDonalds. Wario waddles his fat ass into the McBuilding and orders the fattiest, most lethal thing on the McMenu,...a

Wario's Minion Toy

McSupermegatriplearterycloggerdeluxedoubleburgerwithbaconlardforbunsYOUWILLDIEbigassmothersizedcheeseburger with fries and a large Diet Coke. After enlisting the help of the entire population of Mexico in order to lift the thing, Wario receives his meal and on the way to his table grabs 60,219 ketchup packets and uses an unfortunate McEmployee as a seat. But since Wario IS fat, he simply absorbs the burger through his skin and digests it. Immediately afterwards, the combined mass of the burger and Wario creates a point of infinite density inside his stomach and spawns a black hole from his mouth, forcing everything within a 30 lightyear radius down his throat. Since Wario can eat anything, this does not kill him as he swellls to the size of a small galaxy. Wario then succumbs to the coldness of space. He receives a fatal blodclot after he dies.

Trivia

• If You get shoved up wario's butt, you can see Poo World and the exit.
• Paris Hilton owns Poo World.
• Wario is also known as a fartudinous lump of poo
• He uses Wii Fit sometimes because he broke the balance.
• He has met Morgan Freeman.
• He is one of the directors and an actor of The Super Wario Bros. Wah-wah Show! (REMAKE).