“1.5/10 (Note: This movie makes absolutely no sense. It's also made by Bowser Pictures, the worst film company ever. The acting is good however, unlike most Bowser Pictures movies.)”
The Movie Reviewer
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The old grocery store

Mario's 1,000,000,000,000th Moviewas a better movie than Toilet Paper: The Movie movie about Mario and his friends doing stupid things. It was released on December 17, 1998, then relelased to VHS On April 19, 1999, then to DVD On December 17, 2008 in honor of the movie's 10th anniversary . Later, someone stole the idea and turned it into Doug's First Movie.

Main Characters

  • Mario - He always pigs out on spaghetti during the film.
  • Luigi - The hero of the film, though there was no intention of having heroes in the film.
  • Wario - Wario is a policeman who says all the complaints that Mario makes aren't true, even though they are.
  • Waluigi - He dies in the film due to cheese. The poor old chap...
  • Peach - Due to Yoshi, she is eaten during the movie's production, but she can be seen in a deleted scene.
  • Daisy - The villain of the film. Daisy wants to take over the economy.
  • Yoshi/Lario - He has a long tongue.


To the farm

Mario and the others are riding on a bus to the dance farm when they are greeted by a weird man named The Big Cheese. The Big Cheese says that there is an old grocery store full of spaghetti down the road. Mario goes to full speed and crashes into the store, landing in a pasta section. Mario sets up a campfire to heat up the spaghetti. However, all the others fly into the dairy section. Waluigi eats some cheese, but the cheese turns into The Big Cheese and eats Waluigi's hat. Waluigi throws a tantrum, but The Big Cheese beheads him. Nobody cares, so they drink all the milk until Mario screams. Everyone runs to the pasta section, only to find out Mario says he had a bad dream where Fred from another Mario movie had ate all of Mario's pasta. This becomes true a few minutes later.

The Big Cheese Returns

After Mario eats his pasta, Yoshi finds the same cheese Waluigi bit into. Yoshi ate some of the cheese, but The Big Cheese came back again to scare Yoshi with a saying that goes like this, "SWOAH SWOAH SWOAH SWOAH." Yoshi gets scared, and turns into Lario for some reason. Lario then calls Daisy to see if she can come to the store, but she is too busy stealing cheese from Mario's bank. Lario gets mad, so Daisy comes. But then, Luigi asks if they want to watch his favorite B-movie, Meecrosoft Sahm and Gawfeelld Go to Hell. They watch it anyway. Mario farts so hard he shits his pants, Bowser pees on the floor, and Wario does nothing. Everyone laughs about this, even The Big Cheese.

The Deaths!

After Mario cleans his pants, The Big Cheese kills everyone except Mario. Mario then wakes up saying The Big Cheese was a bad dream. The end?


Critics and other people have criticised this movie for making absolutely no sense, and for its lack of detail, giving a rating of 2¼/100,000. Wanna know the worst part? Bowser Productions, the people who made this, is the same company who made Toilet Paper: THE MOVIE! EEEEEEEEEEEK!


  • This movie sucks.
  • And you do too.