- Did you mean Super Mario Cookies or Mario's Cookies?
A minor character for the episode
Summary[]
New Mario bakes sentinent Mario cookies in order to defeat Evil Guy and co. once and for all.
Script[]
Scene 1
NEW MARIO is in his lab, baking something in his oven. NEW LUIGI is bumbling around, trying (and failing) to help.
NEW MARIO: Get out of here, you useless pest! The cookies are almost done, and I don't want you getting in my way!
NEW LUIGI: Sorry, boss! I'm just trying to help! I've already got the 1-up mushrooms, see?
NEW MARIO: Excellent. Now give them--hey! You've ruined that Mario cookie! It's obscenely bloated and ugly! Oh, never mind. Here. Take the mushrooms and sprinkle them on all the cookies. I'm taking a potty break. DO NOT screw up.
NEW MARIO exits offstage, leaving NEW LUIGI alone with the 1-up mushrooms. He sprinkles the mushrooms over all the cookies, including the one he himself grotesquely messed up, causing them to spring to life and become actual people.
MARIO COOKIES (excluding the messed-up one): Let's-a go! How-a may I serve you, Master?
NEW LUIGI: (addressing the messed-up cookie) Hey! You! Why didn't you say anything?
Note that the messed-up cookie is actually Wario, Mario's arch-rival.
WARIO: I'm-a Wario! I'm-a gonna win!
WARIO promptly defenestrates via the window above NEW LUIGI's head. NEW MARIO strides in, then stops and notices the broken window.
NEW MARIO: New Luigi, you're supposed to be performing better than the guy you replaced. What's with the broken window?
NEW LUIGI stares at his feet, hands behind his back, and shuffles uncomfortably.
NEW MARIO: Rrgh! Don't tell me you screwed up after I specifically told you not to!
NEW LUIGI: OK.
NEW MARIO: OK? OK what?
NEW LUIGI: OK, I won't tell you that I screwed up after you specifically told you not to by letting the now-sentinent mutant cookie to escape in order to plan an assault against us!
NEW MARIO: That does it. Cookies, go attack Evil Guy Tower. Those guys haven't attacked us in a while and are probably plotting something. New Luigi, stay right here while I get the...cheese.
NEW LUIGI: No! No! Please, God, no!
Fade to black.
Scene 2
EVIL GUY and his minions are relaxing in Evil Guy Tower, eating a truckload of cheese, when they hear the doorbell ring.
PICKLE: I got it. (He descends a flight of stairs, opens the door, and sees WARIO standing there.) Can I help you?
WARIO: Obey Wario, Destroy Mario!
PICKLE (hypnotized): Obey...Wario...
WARIO storms into the tower, laughing obscenely. PICKLE follows him in a trance.
EVIL GUY: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who are you and why did you hypnotize Pickle?
PICKLE: Obey...Wario...destroy...Mario...
EVIL GUY: Well, we would have done that voluntarily! You can be part of our group if you de-hypnotize Pickle.
WARIO does so by picking his nose, takes some garlic and shoves it into his mouth. Suddenly, a thunderous flurry of rapidly advancing feet is heard from outside.
WARIO: It's-a the Mario cookies! Wario gonna keel 'em!
The garlic Wario has eaten transforms into Wario-Man! He rushes out of the tower and devours all the cookies in one vacuum-powered bite. Evil Guy and the others watch agape as Wario saves their hineys and the tower from this edible army.
EVIL GUY: WHOA, you're good! Welcome to the club!
Everybody laughs joyously as the screen fades to black. The end.
Moral[]
Obey Wario, destroy Mario.
Trivia[]
This is Wario's first appearance in the show. Also, New Luigi was forced to eat cheese.