The War Starts is Season 1 Episode 1 of The Super Wario Bros. Wah-wah Show! (REMAKE).
SUMMARY[]
Wario and the rest of the X-Men starts a war with the Koopa Mafia because they ruined their party. The two groups have their first ever fight.
CHARACTERS[]
- Wario
- Waluigi
- Donkey Kong
- Bowser
- Homer Simpson
- Dry Bones
- Some Tiny Moron that Nobody Cares About
- Goombas (KIA)
- Koopa Troopas (KIA)
- Boos (KIA)
- Paratroopa
SCRIPT[]
Scene 1[]
WARIO is putting up party decorations in the living room in his house. WALUIGI comes in from the kitchen, holding a bowl of Cheese.
WALUIGI: What the heck is this stuff for, boss?
WARIO: I am throwing a party for the Koopa Mafia.
WALUIGI: Why?
WARIO: Because I want to.
WALUIGI: But we are an evil organization! What if we are next? What if they are going to crash the party?!
WARIO: Oh, don't worry, Waluigi. We are far from being next on their list. I promise.
Meanwhile in the Koopa Mafia base...
DRY BONES: Let's see what's next in my list...
DRY BONES looks at his target list. He sees that his next target is the X-Men. SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT walks in the office and sees that DRY BONES is looking at his list.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: What's next in our list of evil organizations, boss? Also, I heard that the X-Men is throwing a party for us for some reason.
DRY BONES: The next in our list is indeed the X-Men. Also, why would they be throwing a party for us?
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: I'm not sure. They must not know that they are next on the list.
DRY BONES: Or it could be a surprise attack.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Maybe...
DRY BONES: ...
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: I'll get the army ready. We'll give those blasted X-Men the biggest attack ever!
DRY BONES: 'K.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT leaves the office.
DRY BONES: They won't know what's coming. Hehehehehehehe...
Scene 2[]
The party is about to start. WARIO is at the front door. He is going to greet everyone who comes here. The rest of the X-Men is operating the rest of the party. WARIO has been waiting for a while.
WARIO: What the hell is taking so long? They should be here right now.
WARIO spots a huge army of GOOMBAS, KOOPA TROOPAS, and BOOS. DRY BONES and SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT is leading them.
WARIO: WHAT THE FUCK?!
The KOOPA TROOPAS has guns. They try and shoot WARIO, but WARIO hides in the house.
WARIO: X-MEN, X-MEN!!
WALUIGI: What is it, Wario? And why do you sound panicked?
WARIO: The Koopa Mafia is attacking! THEY HAVE A HUGE ARMY!!
HOMER SIMPSON: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
BOWSER: Welp, we're screwed.
WALUIGI: Ha! I called it!
WARIO: Shut up, Waluigi! This is serious!
WALUIGI: Fine...
DONKEY KONG: What the hell are we supposed to do now? We are outnumbered!
The X-Men then hears loud knocking on the door.
DRY BONES (off-camera): Come out, X-Failures! We know you're in there, you bunch of pussies!
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT (off-camera): Yeah! Or else we'll have to break in and use extreme measures!!
WARIO: Run. Definitely.
BOWSER: Yeah. EVERYBODY RUN!
The X-Men runs out the back door. One of the BOOS saw them running.
BOO #123: Sir! I see them running!
DRY BONES: Oh really? Well, it seems like they have surrendered.
KOOPA TROOPA #684: Should we trash the house anyways?
DRY BONES: Nah. Maybe later.
The army leaves.
Scene 3[]
The X-Men are in the middle of a nondescript field.
WARIO: Well, that failed miserably.
WALUIGI: Yeah. This is why you shouldn't ever invite the Koopa Mafia to a party.
HOMER SIMPSON: I agree. That was a dumbass move, Wario.
WARIO: Hey! I didn't know that we were next on the list! So shut up!
HOMER SIMPSON: Whatever...
BOWSER: Should we check if the house is safe?
WARIO: Sure...
The X-Men walk to their house to see that the army has left, and the house hasn't bee trashed. However, there are still party decorations everywhere.
DONKEY KONG: Now what do we do?
WARIO: Declare war.
WALUIGI: What?! Are you crazy?!
WARIO: Maybe, but hear me out! They have fucked with us for the last time, and I am tired of it! Are you?
WALUIGI: Well, yeah, but they have a large and strong army! And what do we have? Wannabe gangsters! Our group sucks! We'll be killed in no time if we declare war!
WARIO: Don't worry, Waluigi. We will win this war somehow. Let me make and mail the war request letter to the Koopa Mafia, okay?
WALUIGI: Fine, but I don't think we will win though.
WARIO: Whatever.
WARIO writes the war request and mails it to the Koopa Mafia base.
At the Koopa Mafia base, DRY BONES is at his office, planning another attack. SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT comes in the office.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Sir! You got a letter from Wario!
DRY BONES: Wario? Is it a war request?
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: I don't know. I haven't read it yet.
DRY BONES: Well, give it to me then. I'll read it.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT gives the letter to DRY BONES. DRY BONES reads it.
LETTER: Deer Dreye 🅱ones (HAHAHAHAHA GET IT GET IT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOICE MEME)
THIS IS WAR REQUEEST YOU ASSSHOEL U CROSS LINE U DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DECLARE WAR?
YESH!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (CIRCEL ONE)
DRY BONES: Well, this is going to be an easy war.
DRY BONES circles yes.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: So, it's a war then?
DRY BONES: Yes. This is now officially a war. I will now write a request accepted letter for him.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Okay.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT leaves the office. DRY BONES begins writing the letter.
Later at WARIO's house, the X-Men are waiting for the request accepted letter. And then a PARATROOPA arrived. He descends to the mailbox and puts it in. The PARATROOPA flies away. WARIO goes outside and gets the letter. He comes back inside.
WARIO: Guys, the letter arrived!
BOWSER: Oh really? What does it say?
WARIO: I don't know. I haven't read it yet.
HOMER SIMPSON: Read it, then.
WARIO: 'K.
WARIO opens the mail and reads the letter.
LETTER: Dear Wario,
The request that you sent to me has been accepted. Although, I would like it to be more professional next time.
Our first battle will be tomorrow at the fields. You better be prepared, because I'm bringing the whole army with me. I always come prepared and use my full power, you see. You should, too.
From, Dry Bones
WALUIGI: Well, what did it say?
WARIO: It says that the war request has been accepted. Our first battle will be tomorrow at the fields.
DONKEY KONG: We should start training for it, then.
WARIO: Great idea! Let's train, everybody!
The rest of the scene is a 2 minute training montage. This also includes the Koopa Mafia training as well.
Scene 4[]
The next day, the X-Men and the Koopa Mafia are at the field, which is the same nondescript field that the X-Men were in. Each side has strong weapons. The Koopa Mafia has more soldiers than the X-Men. The underlings and freelancers in the enemy army all got guns. The X-Men has slightly weaker guns.
DRY BONES: Give up, X-Men! You lost already!
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Yeah! What he said!
WARIO: How could we have lost if we haven't fought yet?
DRY BONES: Because we are the superior army! We got more people than you!
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: And more guns than you!
DRY BONES: Yeah! So give up!
WARIO: (They're right... I can't win, no matter how hard I try to.)
DRY BONES: We gonna start this battle or what?
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Yeah. I'm starting to get impatient here. I want action already!
WARIO: (Hey, wait a minute...) Waluigi, do you have any Garlic?
WALUIGI: I don't have it with me right now, but we have some in the fridge. Are you planning to turn into Wario-Man?
GOOMBA #742: What's all this stuff about Garlic and Wario-Man?
BOO #123: I agree, bro. What are they planning?
DRY BONES: (God fucking damn it, not this again...) ATTACK NOW!
The army attacks now.
WARIO: WALUIGI, GO GET THE GARLIC FROM THE FRIDGE!
WALUIGI: OKAY!
WALUIGI runs from the battle and into the house. Meanwhile, the X-Men are unsurprisingly losing. The X-Men are all injured badly.
DRY BONES: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You fools are idiots!
HOMER SIMPSON: Don't call us- (coughs blood)
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: I agree! You are all retarded! You really thought you could take us on?! Look at yourselves!
DRY BONES: Yeah! Look at how bad you are! You knew that you couldn't take us on, yet you tried anyway! Hah! What losers. We won this war already. Let's leave, troops.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Yeah. This is the easiest war we have ever fought.
WALUIGI suddenly returns with the Garlic.
WALUIGI: Oh my god...
DRY BONES: False alarm, troops. Waluigi is here. Let me and Some Tiny Moron that Nobody Cares About handle this.
WALUIGI quickly puts the Garlic in WARIO's mouth. WARIO suddenly transforms into WARIO-MAN.
DRY BONES: WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT IS THIS POWER?!
WARIO-MAN: You haven't won this war yet, retards! I will defeat you all with my l33t hax0r skills!
WARIO-MAN proceeds to kill all of the underlings and freelancers. He then beats up DRY BONES and SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT.
DRY BONES: o-ow...
WARIO-MAN: My work here is done.
WARIO-MAN changes back to WARIO, who is now fully healed.
WALUIGI: Well, thank god! The rest of our people is injured though.
WARIO: Relax, Waluigi, We will just take them to the hospital.
WARIO then dials 911.
Scene 5[]
At WARIO's house, WARIO, WALUIGI, and the fully healed X-Men are discussing the war and the battle.
WARIO: Well, that was a very tough battle guys. We did it, though!
WALUIGI: Yeah, but Wario, now we don't have any Garlic! And what if they come back to attack us again? We may have won that battle, but we will lose the war.
HOMER SIMPSON: I'm gonna have to agree with Waluigi here.
BOWSER: Yeah, and besides, Garlic costs $1,000,000 each piece! We don't have that much money yet! We only got $1,000!
WARIO: Relax, guys. All of their underlings and freelancers are killed. As far as I know, it's just Dry Bones and Some Tiny Moron that Nobody Cares About. I don't think they have any more soldiers!
DONKEY KONG: Good point. Dry Bones and Some Tiny Moron that Nobody Cares About are very strong, though. Not as strong as us, but we may need to hire some new members just in case.
WARIO: New members? You know, that's not a bad idea! Tomorrow, we will find some new members! Anyone agree?
EVERYONE ELSE: We agree!
WARIO: Then it is settled! Like I said before, we will begin the search tomorrow.
Meanwhile at the Koopa Mafia base, DRY BONES and SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT are at the office.
DRY BONES: This is BULLSHIT! My underlings and freelancers are killed by that stupid transformation!
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: I agree. It's just the two of us now. What the hell are we supposed to do? We are never going to win this war now.
DRY BONES: Hmm... (This isn't good. The tables have turned unexpectedly. All of my soldiers were killed. I need to kill those assholes somehow. But how...?)
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: We are just sitting ducks out here now. I can't believe the mafia has to end like this, but it seems like that may be the reality...
DRY BONES: ...No. This is not the end of us. There is always a solution to a problem. Even with a problem like this...
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Are you sure?
DRY BONES: Yes.
DRY BONES thinks for a moment. Then, he gets an idea.
DRY BONES: EUREKA! I got an idea!
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Really? What is it?
DRY BONES: We hire new teammates! Strong and powerful teammates that are better than that damned Wario-Man!
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: That's,,,the best idea you've ever had!
DRY BONES: Yes. We will get enough teammates to outnumber the X-Men, but not too much. We will start searching tomorrow. Some Tiny Moron that Nobody Cares About, you are now dismissed.
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: Okay, sir!
SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT leaves the office. The screen turns black. White text appears.
TEXT: To be continued...
TRIVIA[]
- Many critics praised this first episode for the awesome acting. It's almost like they were really fighting! They also praised it for the great editing, great effects, and more. Some critics immediately called this show the greatest show of the UnWorld.
- The acting got better over time, especially in Season 2.
- The only difference between this and the Pilot Pitch was that this version was professionally edited, while the Pilot Pitch had some cheap editing in Windows Movie Maker.
- This article is a remake of The Super Wario Bros. Wah-wah Show! episode, The War Begins.
- This episode also appears in the UnAnything Wiki: The War Starts